


Sitting in the dark

by archaeologist_d



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Modern: No Powers, Angst with a Happy Ending, Films, Humor, Light Angst, M/M, Modern Era, Sweet
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-26
Updated: 2020-05-29
Packaged: 2021-03-02 20:06:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 13
Words: 12,332
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24392518
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/archaeologist_d/pseuds/archaeologist_d
Summary: Merlin’s a fan of movies, sappy ones, horror, blow-them-up monster, romance. You name it, he loves them all.When he meets a mysterious stranger and starts talking films in the darkness of the movie theatre, Merlin falls hard and fast. Never mind that he doesn't even know what film guy looks like.
Relationships: Merlin/Arthur Pendragon (Merlin)
Comments: 104
Kudos: 219
Collections: Camelot Drabble — Prompt #403:Random Dialogue 2, Camelot Drabble — Prompt #404:Random Dialogue 3, Camelot Drabble — Prompt #405:Random Dialogue 4, Camelot Drabble — Prompt #406:Donate a prompt, Camelot Drabble — Prompt #407:Trope choice, Camelot Drabble — Prompt #408:Random AO3 tag, Camelot Drabble — Prompt #412: holding hands (touch), Camelot Drabble — Prompt #413: alarm (hearing)





	1. Leap Year 2010

Merlin knew he shouldn’t have done it. In a theatre, watching a sappy movie, one where the couple walks off into the sunset, hand in hand, just made him feel terrible. Reminding him of what he’d lost, of Will turning away from him, his kisses turning into mockery and then disgust.

Wiping tears as the music swelled into a final crescendo, behind him he heard, “I miss moments like this more than anything. Not realistic, though.”

“Yeah, they’d probably trip, fall off the cliff, and boom, the end.” Saying it somehow made him feel better.

There’s a snort and a cough near his left ear. “Violins wailing away as the credits scroll past.”

Merlin doesn’t turn around. Somehow anonymity, talking in the dark with a stranger, soothed him. “The credits last longer than the movie these days. And what’s a best boy anyway?”

“Better than a better boy?” There was a smile in his voice, whoever it was.

“And oops, here comes the names of a thousand digital artists.” Not that Merlin doesn’t understand why, but the names were scrolling past so fast, no one could read them.

“At ludicrous speed.” Ah, the man was a fan of Mel Brooks’s _Spaceballs_. At least he has good taste.

“Fond of comedy, then?” Merlin asked. He doesn’t turn around. Too afraid of breaking whatever spell this was.

Merlin felt the warmth of the man’s breath on his neck, and the sadness as the other guy said, “Fond of good film. Not sure this one was, but I needed it.”

“It made me feel worse. I think I’ll go for comedy next time, the stupider, the better.” It hurt to just stare ahead, to not turn around and see whoever it was behind him. But the final credits scrolled past and the last of the music, sweet and low. 

“Next week, there’s Dumb and Dumber 12, the Hunt for Stupidity.” There was a little laugh, then the mystery man said, “I’ll be here.”

Smiling, Merlin said, “I will be, too.” A moment later, he gathered his courage and turned.

There was no one there. He was alone. Only a door swinging shut as the lights came on.

Merlin was disappointed, but he understood why film guy might want to remain anonymous. Merlin found that he likes it, too, liked that there were no expectations, no push to perform to someone else’s exacting standards.

Besides, Merlin would be back next week.

The siren call of _Dumb and Dumber 12_ could not be denied.


	2. Dumb and Dumber 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Where was film guy? Merlin’s watching a movie and he’s nowhere in sight.

Film guy wasn’t there when Merlin arrived to see the film, _Dumb and Dumber 12_. In fact, no one was except Merlin, but that was to be expected. It wasn’t, after all, Oscar material, just silliness that he could watch without thinking.

But Merlin couldn’t help but be disappointed. He’d been looking forward to seeing or maybe not-seeing but talking to film guy all week. He’d even worn his best shirt, combed his hair – which he hadn’t done properly since he threw Will out, and cleaned up as best he could.

Merlin knew he’d never be handsome, the ears made that clear, but he thought that maybe, just maybe the person he was inside would be enough for someone new.

But as the film started and it was clear film guy wasn’t coming, Merlin tried to put his disappointment aside and settled down to watch stupidity in motion.

It wasn’t until the second action scene, lots of cars flipping and explosions everywhere, that a voice behind him said, "I daren't stay long. I just had to see you."

Merlin froze. He didn’t dare turn around, but he could feel film guy’s warmth against his neck and shoulders, almost as he was wrapping himself around Merlin. But it was just Merlin’s imagination. There was no touch, no press of one body against another, nothing but the sound of his own breathing.

“Haven’t missed much. They reused explosions from Dumber 10, and oh, there’s one from 8. And wow, one from 3,” Merlin shouted, over the ear-blowing noise.

There was a laugh behind him. “A connoisseur, I see.”

“Just a fan of films. And a pretty good memory.” Merlin wanted desperately to turn around, but instead he munched on some popcorn. Then thinking better of it, he shoved the bucket next to his head. “Want some? It’s not bad this time.”

The hand that reached over had fine blonde hairs on it, and a ring on his thumb, silver with a gold center, expensive but elegant, too. His fingers grabbed a few pieces, then a moment later, Merlin heard a crunch. “Thanks, I’ve not eaten yet.”

Somehow that made Merlin brave. “There’s a pizza place next door. I’m….”

Film guy must have known what he was going to say. ‘Can’t. I’m not supposed to be here at all. I’ve an assignment and I’m running late, but Emma is coming next week.”

For a moment, Merlin didn’t understand what he was saying, since he had no idea who Emma was. Then he realized film guy was talking about the movie. Taking a deep breath, Merlin said, “I’m planning on seeing it Sunday afternoon. Never turn down a chance to see a Jane Austin film. She was great with sarcasm.”

“And always a happy ending. Unlike reality.” Film guy sounded sad at that. “I wonder what she’d have written now.”

“Not movies with explosions.” Merlin thought about it a second, then decided to go full steam ahead. It’s not like film guy was invested or anything. “I think she’d write gay romances. With happy endings.”

For a moment, Merlin thought he’d gone too far. After all, he knew absolutely nothing about the man breathing against Merlin’s neck.

But then there was a little laugh as film guy said, “Pride and Prejudice and Porn?”

With that, Merlin’s heart started beating again. He hadn’t scared film guy off. Feeling a bit braver, Merlin said, “Sense and Sensibility and Seduction? Persuasion or high-jinks on the high seas?”

“All those seaman walking up and down the rolling ship, all that bumping and grinding and … look, I have to go. See you Sunday?” Film guy sounded unhappy but at least he wanted to see or rather be near Merlin again.

“I’ll be here.” Merlin said.

“So will I.” Said film guy.

And with another explosion blasting out of the speakers, Merlin didn’t hear film guy walk away. But the theatre turned cold, and Merlin was alone.

Until Sunday. And hopefully a happy ending.


	3. Emma 2020

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Merlin’s third non-date with film guy.

The theatre was pretty full. Merlin got a seat near the back just in case film guy showed up. He might want to talk, but disturbing others during a film was somewhat of a no-no in his book.

Of course, he didn’t know what film guy looked like and there were several men in the audience, some blonde, although most looked like they were with someone. One particular couple, a dark-haired woman who was absolutely stunning and a blonde guy next to her who was wet dream material, was sitting in the last row. They didn’t look like they were having much fun with her scowling down at her phone, and the guy looking like he didn’t want to be there.

But it didn’t matter. Film guy hadn’t shown up, and with a heavy heart, Merlin settled into watching the movie.

\------------------------

“I've forgotten what it's like to feel young," said Emma’s father, up on that huge screen, as Emma patted his hand.

Merlin nearly jumped when the film guy whispered in his ear, “He was never young.”

Emma’s dad was certainly paranoid about everything. Merlin whispered back, “And Emma’s spoiled because of him. She doesn’t even realize it. Look how she treated Fanny, like her feelings didn’t matter.”

Film guy must have had feelings because his voice turned vicious. “Fanny should have told Emma to fuck off, politely of course, in a Jane Austenly kind of way.”

Merlin grinned, then shoved his bucket of popcorn behind him so film guy could have a bite. As the blonde hand with the fancy ring took some, Merlin said, “Can you imagine the cat fight? Bonnets askew, calling each other politely pointed names as they curtsied to each other.”

Film guy snorted, then said, “Parasols at 20 paces. Someone should make that movie.”

Merlin giggled a little, a manly giggle, of course. “I’d pay good money to see it. In the end, Knightley would go off with that Miranda Hart character, Miss Bates, Fanny would marry the farmer after all, and Emma would be teaching etiquette in some posh school in the wilds of Yorkshire.”

“I think you’ve mixed up Emma with Jane Eyre,” film guy said.

“Don’t even get me started on Eyre. At least Austin’s books ended happily.” Merlin said. Although Jane Eyre ended in marriage so there was that.

“Heathcliff…. Heathcliff….” film guy moaned.

“You arse. That’s Withering Heights.” Merlin laughed. “Speaking of which, _Rise of Skywalker_ is playing next week.”

There was a hmmm behind Merlin, then film guy said, “My kind of film, magic and sword fights and spaceships. What’s not to like?”

Merlin was ecstatic. It was his kind of film, too. “I’ll be here Sunday. Maybe we could talk Star Wars after?”

There was a long pause, then film guy said, “I can’t. I’m… I’ve a meeting I can’t miss. But I can sneak out long enough for the movie. I wish I could.”

Merlin got the message. Talking about film in the dark was fine, meeting up after was not. Film guy must have seen Merlin somewhere before and decided that he wasn’t the one. Not that he blamed film guy. After all, Merlin was no Adam Driver or even Daniel Craig, more like the ugly sidekick that everyone forgets as soon as the credits started rolling.

But he couldn’t keep the disappointment out of his voice. “Sure, no problem. I’ll be here anyway. I want to find out how it all ends. If it’s Reylo or not.”

“Oh my god, you’re one of those. As if Rey would look twice at a father-stabbing murderer.” Film guy sounded horrified.

Merlin snickered. He could see it going any number of ways, but it was fun to push film guy’s buttons. “Or maybe Ben will be redeemed, and they’ll ride off into the sunsets together. On a Bantha, with the Ewoks singing.”

“Noooo, not Ewoks.” But film guy was snickering, too. “Listen, I have to go. Can’t even wait for all the credits this time. But I’ll see you next week?”

“Sure, it’s a date.”

But Merlin wasn’t sure film guy had heard him. He could feel the breeze as film guy got up and moved away, just as the music began to swell, marriage vows were exchanged, and the the credits began to scroll.

As Merlin turned around, that gorgeous dark-haired woman was arguing with her date, and she kept looking Merlin’s way and pointing. Her date wasn’t having any of it, keeping his back to Merlin, then stalking away as she continued to argue with him.

He had no idea what was going on. Merlin thought maybe they didn’t like the film or else it was a date gone wrong. It wasn’t his concern, anyway.

Film guy was gone, and Merlin was alone.

Again. 


	4. The Rise of Skywalker 2020

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Film guy liked Star Wars. So did Merlin. The beginnings of a beautiful if confusing friendship.

Wet Dreams guy was back, in the far corner and without the gorgeous woman he’d been with last week. Not that Merlin would go over and introduce himself. The man was way out of Merlin’s league.

Besides, he was waiting for film guy to show up, or at least sit behind him and make snarky remarks. In a way, it was becoming comfortable, friendly without any expectations, and Merlin could just relax and enjoy the conversation. He didn’t need to put on a mask and try and be someone he wasn’t just to get laid. Although he wouldn’t have minded getting laid. Very much not minded but it wasn’t happening anyway.

So as he sat down and waited for _The Rise of Skywalker_ to begin, he didn’t even look around to see if film guy was hovering. Merlin just sat there munching his popcorn and listening to the first stirring sounds of John William’s score.

He did jump a bit when, later, film guy breathed in his ear, “So do you think Finn and Poe are a thing?”

“Please, of course they are. Although Finn looks like he’s up for a threesome with Rey and Poe.” Merlin gave a little snicker. “The studio can throw other women at them both but yeah, not happening.”

They didn’t say much after that. Merlin could tell film guy was enjoying the film by the way his breathing would speed up, the grunts when Rey would jump into danger, how he choked when Kylo Ren turned back into the good guy, redeemed at last by love.

Of course, Merlin was thrilled that Reylo turned into a thing, even though film guy was muttering about how it never happened. But the intensity of the moment was amplified when film guy put his hand on Merlin’s shoulder and squeezed in sympathy as the scene played out.

Merlin tried not to cry at the end. He’d been waiting for years for Skywalker saga to be complete and now that it was dome, he felt at a bit of a loss.

“I loved it, even with Reylo. And the two suns setting like that.” Film guy sounded a little choked up, too. “I didn’t want it to be over.”

Film guy’s hand was still on Merlin’s shoulder and Merlin reached up and covered it with his own. “Me, either. I know there are tv shows, too, but there’s something about the big screen and sharing the experience.”

Surprisingly, film guy didn’t pull away, just let his hand rest there, warming Merlin. “Sorry, I wasn’t in the mood for conversation. Things have been… difficult at work and I have to go put out some fires in a minute. Not the same as galaxy in peril space opera, but sometimes the drama isn’t that far off.”

Merlin certainly did understand. “Sometimes I think it would be easier to rescue the galaxy. Yeah, flying with a Wookie, there’s always the danger of getting your arm torn off or crushed in a garbage compactor, but at least you wouldn’t have to listen to your boss telling you how his boss is unhappy about things you can’t do anything about.” 

Film guy just hummed a bit. “Next week, there’s a National Lampoon retrospective. _European Vacation_ is a classic after all.”

“I prefer the original. I don’t think anything can top driving across the country with the dead aunt tied to the car roof.” Merlin said.

“Leaving her by the back door with a note?” Film guy chuckled.

Merlin laughed. “They probably figured she wouldn’t make a good hood ornament. At least they left a note.”

“A note makes everything better?” Merlin could hear the smile in film guy’s voice.

“Notes are the getting-out-of-jail card for every movie.” Merlin agreed. “Even if it’s a virtual one like Princess Leia saying, ‘Help Me Obi-Wan Kenobi, you’re my only hope’.”

With that, film guy slid his hand away from Merlin’s shoulder. “A call to adventure. Hopefully, I’ll be able to answer it someday. See you next week?”

“I’ll be here.” He didn’t ask about afterwards. There really wasn’t any reason to. Film guy had already made that clear. 

Merlin didn’t turn around, either. But sharing the moment was good enough.

He couldn’t wait until next week.


	5. European Vacation 1985

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Merlin’s a fan of movies but comedies aren’t always funny. Although he had to admit that Stonehenge going over like a huge set of dominos was pretty classic.

It wasn’t until _European Vacation_ was in full swing, Griswalds knocking over Stonehenge and drive away happily oblivious, that film guy showed up. At first, Merlin was upset, but it was clear they weren’t friends, just voices in the dark, and Merlin tried to put his disappointment aside and enjoy the movie.

It took a while, but Merlin was giggling at the ridiculousness of watching the giant domino effect of stone pillars falling onscreen, when that familiar voice whispered into Merlin’s ear, “Sometimes I feel like that at work.”

It was silly that Merlin’s heart should start to race, but trying not to give anything away, he said, ““Me, too. I had a presentation on Friday, and everything went wrong.”

Film guy handed Merlin a bucket of popcorn and then began to steal from it. “What happened?”

Merlin wanted to facepalm out of embarrassment, but in the dark it didn’t matter. He whispered, “Started with me tripping over my feet. I was carrying in the final mockups for my presentation, and they went flying. Right into my boss’s lap. Which wouldn’t have been so bad, but he was drinking coffee at that moment, and oh god.”

Film guy gave a little snort. “It can’t have been as bad as what the idiots are doing up on screen.” In all its Technicolour glory, the Griswalds were busy destroying Paris, but no, what Merlin had gone through was worse.

“They could make a movie out of it – how to destroy your career in five easy steps.” Merlin shook his head. “The coffee went everywhere, and people were jumping out of the way, banging into each other, knocking over the whiteboard which hit the conference call phone. And someone bumped into the lights and turned them off, and it was a mess.” It took a while before he could calm down. It hurt just to think about it. “What’s worse, the CEO was there. I thought I’d be fired on the spot.”

Film guy let in a sharp breath, then after a while, as the Griswolds knocked over that poor bicyclist for the tenth time in a row, he said, “Must have been embarrassing.”

“He asked my boss if I had some kind of mental affliction, then stormed out of the meeting, grumbling about idiots.” Merlin chomped on several pieces of popcorn, then took a long swallow of his sadly non-alcoholic drink. Maybe later, after film guy disappeared, he’d hit the pub. He deserved it after all the shit he’d had to deal with.

Film guy reached over and grabbed more popcorn. “Sounds like fun. Especially if the CEO usually has a stick up his arse and finds fault with everyone.”

Merlin didn’t turn around, but he said, “He’s like the generic evil movie CEO. I swear they manufacture them at some kind of hard-arse CEO factory. He never lets up, never admits to any weakness. I hear he even treats his son like trash.”

“Maybe his son deserves it,” Film guy whispered.

“I hear the guy’s a prat, but no one should be treated that way, not even hard-arse junior,” Merlin said. “Anyway, my boss said to hide for a while until it blows over. So I’m relegated to the basement for the moment.”

“Glad to hear that you’ve still got a job.” Then film guy starts to laugh. On screen, the Griswalds’ car was stuck in a medieval archway and they couldn’t get out. “This is my favourite scene. It’s just too ridiculous.”

Merlin had to snort a little. “Mine, too. Although Will did that once, so it’s not impossible.”

Film guy said, “Will?”

Merlin hadn’t meant to talk about him, but film guy wasn’t ever going to be Merlin’s new boyfriend so why not. “Will’s my ex. Caught him fucking someone he’d met at the pub. In our bed. Apparently, he’d been trying out the locals for a while. So we’re no longer together.”

“I’m sorry. That’s….” Film guy sounded almost upset.

“Water under the bridge. Not really into getting back into the dating scene. Hence my movie addiction.” Merlin took another long sip of drink. Yes, definitely wanting the pub after the movie, maybe even getting rats-arsed.

“Maybe someday, you’ll find someone. Maybe even at the movies.” Film guy reached over, gave Merlin a little squeeze. And like last time, he didn’t let go, just rested his hand, warm and comforting, on Merlin’s shoulder. His breath was warm against Merlin’s ear. “You never know.”

If Merlin didn’t know better, he’d swear film guy was flirting with him.

Testing the waters, Merlin leaned back a little, let the back of his head rest against film guy’s jaw. And for a second, neither of them moved.

Merlin could have sworn that film guy pressed in, perhaps even ghosted a kiss into Merlin’s hair. But it must have been just his imagination.

Film guy let go, the warmth turning back into the cold of a chilly movie theatre. He said, “Next week, they’re showing _No Time to die_. James Bond. Lots of explosions. I know how much you love those.”

Merlin let out a little disappointed sigh, then trying to sound enthusiastic, he said, “Dumb and Dumber had the best explosions. Bond isn’t even close.”

“How about we see next week and if you are right, I’ll buy you the biggest box of candy in the theatre.”

Merlin smiled. He did love candy. “It’s a bet. And if I’m wrong?”

“Just don’t be wrong.” Then as the credits rolled, film guy said, “See you next week.” And he was gone.

Merlin sighed. See him next week, the arse said. At this point, ‘seeing’ film guy was just not in the cards. And Merlin had to admit that he was pining, too, wanting to be more than just film buddies.

But the pub was calling him, and for now, that would have to be enough.


	6. No Time to Die 2020

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Explosions aren’t always what film guy needs.

Wet dream guy was back. As Merlin shuffled over to his own seat, popcorn in hand, he glanced over to see the man scowling down at his phone, then typing furiously away at it. He never looked up. He was alone, no gorgeous woman on his arm arguing with him. And although Merlin wondered about it, he wasn’t about to go over and find out. Even if Merlin was good-looking - which he wasn’t, it was really none of Merlin’s business.

Besides, wet dream guy looked like he just wanted to be left alone. Merlin could understand that. After Will’s fuck-up, Merlin hadn’t wanted to talk to anyone for ages. It wasn’t until film guy started whispering in his ear all those weeks ago that he began to look forward to things again.

He just hoped that film guy felt the same.

As usual, it wasn’t until the movie started and James Bond started blowing things up – how he survived the car crashes was a marvel in technology and movie magic, that film guy said, “I could use a good explosion right about now.”

Film guy was spot on. In the next second, a series of ear-pounding blasts ripping through the Secret Service building and onto the street, the cars flipping sky high and people running away. It was beautiful in a way, all that deadly danger in vivid colour, and behind Merlin, film guy gave a little chuckle.

Merlin wanted to turn around, but instead, he said, “Good call. But the _Dumb and Dumber_ explosion climax was pretty spectacular. It would be hard to beat.”

“I’m confident that Bond will outdo himself,” Film guy whispered. “I’ll be taking notes, though. You never know when you need to blow something up.”

He sounded bitter, and for the briefest moment, Merlin wondered just how much he knew about film guy. Was he serious?

“I think MI6 would be unhappy if you did,” Merlin said, trying to sound as if it was a joke. “Unless you are 007.”

“No, just a bloody cog in the grinding wheel that is my life.” Film guy must have realized how it sounded. “I’m… for fuck’s sake, I’m not going to really blow anything up. Although my father’s Bentley could do with a bit of a clean.” 

Merlin was relieved. He wasn’t sure he could be Q to a James Bond. He was more the pasty graphics guy in the back, scurrying away from danger. “Bad day?”

“Fuck, bad week, bad month, bad year.”

Film guy must have leaned forward, maybe putting his forehead against the back of Merlin’s seat, because Merlin could feel the silky texture of film guy’s hair on his neck. He wanted to arch back, then, wanted to reach over and maybe pet that hair, run his fingers through the softness, then down his cheek and snog the hell out of him. Film guy sounded so unhappy.

But Merlin did none of those things, just said, “Can you leave? I mean I just started at my job and at least the CEO didn’t fire me, although I heard he raged at his son all week. I never met the guy but really, what father would do that? In public, no less.”

For a minute, film guy didn’t say anything, but he didn’t seem to be watching James Bond either. There was a sex scene and some boats blowing up and another car crash and Merlin had expected him to mock all the clichés, but instead, he said, so quietly that Merlin almost didn’t hear him, “Sounds like something my father would do.”

“No one deserves that, not even Pendragon Junior.” There was a sharp breath somewhere behind Merlin’s ear and then quiet. Somewhere in there, film guy’s head was resting securely against Merlin’s neck, and his fingers were warm on Merlin’s shoulder. He didn’t even try to steal Merlin’s popcorn. It must have been a hell of a week.

Finally, film guy said, “Yeah, well, maybe he does. If he screws up that much….”

At that, Merlin almost turned around. He just wanted to hug the man, no matter that he was really just a stranger in a theatre full of noise and explosions. Instead, he said, “No one does. Seriously, no one… but if I were him, I’d get as far away as I could.”

“And if it wasn’t possible?” Film guy sounded like he really wanted to know.

“Junior must have some money. Even if he had to give up his posh lifestyle, is it really worth being humiliated every week?” Merlin said. He had to wonder just what was going on because he didn’t really think they were talking about Pendragon junior. Was film guy in trouble? They were virtual strangers. Merlin didn’t even know his name. But still he wanted to help him in any way he could.

“It’s not that simple,” film guy said.

Merlin decided to dive in. Not turning around, Merlin reached up and pulled on his ears, fanning them out so they looked even larger than normal. “I’ve big ears. I’m willing to listen if you need to talk, you know.” 

Film guy gave a little snort. “They are not that big.” But he did squeeze Merlin’s shoulder before letting go. “But thanks. It’s… I may take you up on that someday.”

Before either of them could say anything else, there was another spectacular explosion on screen, a crescendo of noise and light and colour. Behind him, film guy laughed.

Then before Merlin could say anything, a huge bag of candy, Maltesers by the look of it, dropped into his lap. Film guy said, “I’m not saying you won because Bond explosions would always be the best, but here.” 

“But I didn’t win, really. You were right… this time.” The explosions had been pretty stunning.

“Well, consider it a down payment.” Film guy’s hand reached over and patted the bag. That it was nestled in Merlin’s groin did not escape Merlin’s notice. But film guy didn’t do anything else, just leaned back and said, “They are showing Wonder Woman next week and there’s lots of loud blasts in it.”

“I’ll save it until then.” It would be a hardship because Merlin loved Maltesers, but sharing them with film guy sounded like a plan. Plus Merlin didn’t want to move or put the bag aside for now because his cock was starting to show interest and it could get embarrassing.

Film guy didn’t seem to notice. Instead, he bumped his head against the back of Merlin’s, and there was definitely pressure there, soft lip pressure if Merlin was any judge, but in the next instant, film guy was gone.

As the credits rolled, Merlin had a few problems. The Maltesers were still calling, his head was still remembering that non-kiss, and his cock was still interested.

Fuck it all.


	7. Wonder Woman 2017

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Will called, the wanker. Merlin wasn’t thrilled.

It was a mistake. Sitting in the dark, waiting for the movie to start, waiting for film guy to hopefully show up, Merlin should never have answered the phone. And he should have hung up as soon as he heard Will’s voice, his fucking wanker ex, but like the loser he was, he just sat there, listening to Will telling him how Merlin should take him back, that Will only shagged the others because Merlin was so bad in bed and Will needed to get some relief, didn’t he. How Will had forgiven him for leaving and promised to show him how it’s done right. Because Merlin’s mouth was made for fucking and at least he was good at sucking cock. And oh, bring beer when he came by. 

Slamming down the phone, of course the case cracked. But by then, the movie had started and there were explosions and firefights and the Nazis getting their asses kicked by Wonder Woman and the Amazons.

It was glorious, watching them defending the island, but Merlin could only keep it in for so long before he started gulping down sobs. Film guy wasn’t there yet, and he didn’t want him to think Merlin any more of a loser than he already was.

So he timed his breathing to loud bangs and darkness, shoving his fist in his mouth to keep people from hearing him. And it worked. No one even looked in his direction.

By the time film guy arrived, Merlin had mostly finished being furious and depressed and was now just numb. He didn’t even react when film guy dropped a bag of popcorn into Merlin’s lap and reached over to share.

“Sorry, I’m late. The meeting lasted longer than I’d hoped. What did I miss?” And the crunch of popcorn was loud in Merlin’s ear.

When Merlin just breathed, didn’t say anything, afraid that if he started, he’d be howling with rage, film guy must have realized something was wrong. He said, “I.. I am sorry. I wish things could be different but I… it’s hard. I hope you can forgive me.”

Pulling himself together, Merlin said, “Not you. My ex called. I’m….” Then his voice caught, a half-sob swallowed by another explosion. “Bloody wanker.”

Film guy seemed to understand. Reaching over, he took Merlin’s hand in his own, and held it against Merlin’s chest. The way they were seated, Merlin felt surrounded, as if film guy was hugging him in sympathy. Into Merlin’s ear, film guy said, “I don’t know you well, but I think your wanker ex was a fool to ever let you go.”

Merlin gave a little laugh, bitter and sad. “You don’t even know what I look like.”

For a moment, film guy was silent. They watched at Wonder Woman argued with Steve about sacrifice and doing what was right. And as Steve flew off into the night, film guy said, “I don’t need to. Sometimes looks can get in the way. Sometimes people only see the façade and not what’s underneath.”

The tension was mounting onscreen. Merlin knew what was about to happen but still he was sniffling, fighting back tears, with the plane blew up and Wonder Woman watched as her world came crashing down.

Film guy sounded like he’d been affected, too. “She loved Steve because he was a brave and honourable man. And that’s more important than looks.”

“Even if he had big ears?” Merlin said.

Film guy gave a little laugh. “Chris Pine does not have big ears but yeah, I think she’d see into his heart and love him for it.” Then film guy gave him a hard squeeze before letting go. “Maybe someday, you’ll find the right person. Better than Will the wanker.”

Credits were rolling, past best boy and a thousand graphic designer names, and Merlin expected film guy to hurry away. When he didn’t, Merlin said, “I only work and go to the movies and well, there doesn’t seem to be a line breaking down my door.”

Film guy whispered into Merlin’s ear. “You never know when a door will open. Be ready when it does.” With that, he squeezed Merlin’s shoulder, then said, “See you next week? Pink Panther is one of my favorites. I think we could both use a good laugh.”

Merlin just nodded. “I’ll be there.”

Film guy seemed to hesitate, then said, “I like your ears.” And then he was gone.


	8. Pink Panther 1963

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sometimes they both needed a good laugh.

Merlin didn’t really notice at first, but wet dream guy was back, huddled in the corner, scowling down at his phone. In a way, it was sad. He was gorgeous and just Merlin’s type, but he seemed so unhappy all the time that Merlin wanted to go over and give him a hug. Platonically, of course, because the man looked like he needed a friend more than lover. Even Merlin staring at him seemed almost an intrusion.

So he deliberately turned around and sat down.

Besides, film guy was right. Sometimes people only saw the façade. Even Merlin.

Maybe that’s why film guy didn’t want Merlin to see him. Maybe he was famous or gorgeous or, who knows. But Merlin wasn’t going to push it.

When the music started up, he hummed along. It was such a catchy tune. What he hadn’t expected was film guy humming with him. Merlin tried not to giggle at the idea of two guys singing to a silly old movie, but it certainly lightened his mood.

When Inspector Clouseau said ‘room’ for the first time in that terrible French accent, Merlin let out a loud snort. He couldn’t help it. Peter Sellers was a master of comedy and it was all so ridiculous. Even behind him, film guy was snickering. Finally film guy leaned over and said, in a good imitation of Clouseau, “Room.” His accent was even worse. Merlin had to stuff his fist in his mouth to keep from embarrassing himself, he was laughing so hard.

Film guy must have realized Merlin’s weakness. He kept whispering lines from the movie in an accent that would have had French people storming the theatre if they knew but Merlin’s sides ached from laughing. It was alarming really how amazing film guy was and how funny. And how much Merlin loved being around him.

Finally the plotline settled down a bit, then there was a whole scene with Robert Wagner hiding under the bed and film guy whispered, “First place I’d look.”

Snickering, Merlin said, “First place anyone with brains would look.”

There were bubble baths and bad guys in gorilla suits and Clouseau running after them in armor that had film guy muttering about how impossible that was, a final chase sequence that had Merlin howling. Merlin could hear film guy laughing so hard that he kept trying to catch his breath and failing. It was fantastic.

It made everything that had happened in the past week just melt away. Will the wanker calling again and work being one horrible mistake after another. It didn’t matter. This was just such fun and sharing it with film guy made it even better.

When the final music started, film guy leaned over and said, “Thank you. I haven’t had this much fun in ages. And with my father being such a hard arse, I really needed this.”

“Trouble at home?” Merlin didn’t want to push, but if film guy needed to talk, Merlin was up for it. After all, he’d helped Merlin last week with Will. It was only fair.

“My father keeps arranging dates with daughters of his friends for me. I’ve told him I’m gay, but he just refuses to accept it.” Behind him, film guy let out a sigh. “It was one disaster after another this week. Work’s been horrid, too.”

“Tell me about it. The rumours where I work was that the CEO really gave it to his son and there was a lot of yelling and that filtered down so that everyone was on edge. I felt like I was walking on eggshells all week.” Merlin said, “I feel bad for the guy, but he needs to either suck it up or leave, for his sake.”

For a moment, film guy didn’t say anything. Finally, in a small voice, he said, “I agree.”

Merlin leaned back, his head pushing up against film guy’s. “Sorry to bring you down. And I really want to thank you for helping me with Will the wanker. I finally blocked his number and it felt like a huge boulder off my shoulders.”

“Very pro-active. You are an inspiration, you know.” Film guy sounded sincere, too, and Merlin blushed a little. “I’m sure if that CEO’s son were here, you could give him an earful.”

Merlin rubbed at his ears at that. “A large earful.”

Film guy reached over, brushing up against Merlin’s hand, and tugging at Merlin’s earlobe just a bit, then letting go, he said, “Maybe he needs a large earful.”

For a moment, there was silence, then the sound of the Pink Panther theme bounced along, credits rolling. Film guy said, “Next week is Superman. You know, the man of steel saving the day.”

“Poor guy, never getting a break. At least as Clark Kent, he’s allowed to make mistakes,” Merlin said.

Behind him, he could almost feel film guy’s surprise. “That’s… that’s how I feel, too. Sometimes… well, I’ve got to go. Duty calls and all. See you next week, then?”

What could Merlin say, that he didn’t want it to be over? Instead, putting a smile into his voice, he said, “I’ll be here.” 

Film guy reached over and gave Merlin’s shoulder a squeeze. “So will I.” Then in that terrible French accent, film guy said, “Room.”

Merlin laughed, and then film guy was gone.

If only. If only there was a room with bubble baths and a soft bed and film guy. Then he shook the idea off. After all this time, a dream of something more with film guy was just that, a dream.


	9. Superman 1978

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Surprise of surprises, Merlin finds out who wet dream guy is. Film guy, not so much.

The last week had been a wild ride. At work, it was like a fire alarm that just kept ringing in everyone’s ears, getting louder and louder, until Merlin wanted to cover his ears and slink back to his cubicle in the basement and wait until it was all over.

The CEO’s son finally lost it, quite spectacularly, in front of staff and Merlin, too. They’d had a meeting about the next rollout and Merlin had been there with the graphic design setup for it, and Pendragon Junior was there, observing, but when the CEO started making deeply cutting remarks about how badly Junior had done and that he was extremely disappointed in him, Junior quit. In front of everyone.

But what bowled Merlin wasn’t that.

Junior was wet dream guy. From the theatre.

No wonder he was always scowling when Merlin saw him there. Hell, Merlin would be, too.

Honestly, he felt terrible for him. Even if he didn’t know Junior, at least he didn’t deserve that. Maybe next time he saw him, he might go over and say so. Or maybe not. He didn’t really know him and some stranger going up to Junior in a dark theatre might be a little stalkery. At least now, Junior or rather Arthur Pendragon could watch the movies and not scowl down at his phone. Maybe he might even enjoy them.

Wet dream… err Pendragon Junior wasn’t hiding out in the back of the theatre this time, though. Probably licking his wounds somewhere else. Not that Merlin blamed him.

Film guy was early. The music had just started and Merlin could feel the movement behind him. There was a heavy sigh. It sounded like film guy wasn’t happy. Merlin just wanted to cheer him up, no matter what the reason, but he wasn’t sure how. It’s not like they knew each other all that well.

Still, he handed back a small box of Maltesers he’d been keeping for himself for later, and said, “Eat up. Sounds like you could use a sugar rush.”

There was a little huff of sad laughter and then a bag of popcorn landed in Merlin’s lap. “It’s been a week.”

“Tell me about it.” Merlin started munching on the popcorn, watching as Jor-El tried to save his planet. “Krypton breaking up has nothing on the shit show that was work this week.”

Film guy just hummed.

“Arthur Pendragon…,” Merlin started to say but stopped when film guy gave a sharp grunt, then when he didn’t say anything else, Merlin continued, “he’s the CEO’s son where I work. I felt terrible for him. Pendragon Senior just kept going on and on, yelling so loud that the next county should have heard it. Accusing him of all kinds of things and Junior finally lost it.”

As Krypton blew up and the baby was rocketed away from his planet, never to return, Merlin said, “Now that’s a dad. Jor-El sacrificed himself and his wife for his kid. I can’t see my CEO doing that.”

“Maybe the son deserved it,” film guy said, sounding dull and sad.

“Hey, I’m just the lowly peasant but I heard that Junior was making a difference, helping with projects, getting funding for interns that was way more than the minimum. Even trying to expand into new markets for renewables.” When film guy didn’t say anything else, Merlin said, “Junior may look like some movie star, but looks can be deceiving. It’s what he did that counts and I’d tell him so if he were here.”

“Maybe Junior tried to be superman and ended up being Jimmy Olsen or red shirt number three.” Film guy said, his voice a bit muffled, as though his hand was over his mouth.

“Nah, Junior was probably more like Clark Kent, trying to do the best he can while having the whole superhero complex dogging him. It’s kinda sad. All those expectations. It’s really too much for anyone, even Superman.” Merlin watched as Superman flew through the air, stopping the bad guys, the music swelling as he rescued Lois Lane. “Besides, I’d rather be Clark than Superman anyway. I’m no superhero.”

Film guy handed Merlin back the Maltesers box. There were only two left. Film guy must have really needed the chocolate. Merlin popped them into his mouth and enjoyed the burst of flavour. He’d have to bring a bigger box next time.

Leaning forward, film guy bumped his head against Merlin’s. “I think you are… pretty super.” 

It wasn’t the rush of chocolate that made his heart race. Face flushing, Merlin said, “Ah, you’re just saying that ‘cause you don’t know me that well. I’m clumsy, and stumble over my words and I hide out in movie theatres. I’m always falling for the wrong guys and well…,” he stopped. Maybe it was too soon or not soon enough but he felt awkward with the whole ‘wrong guys’ thing.

Film guy didn’t mock him for it, though. “You’ve a kind heart.”

That made Merlin blush all over again.

Then film guy leaned back, putting distance between them, as if they’d both said too much. “I’ve some things to think about. I’m not sure I’ll be here next week, but the week after is Kong vs Godzilla.”

Merlin was disappointed but he tried to sound upbeat, as if film guy missing a week wasn’t the end of the world. “So no Jane Austen? No parasols at thirty paces?”

“If I do show up, I’ll bring mine and we can duel it out with quips and endless innuendo.” Film guy sounded upset, but Merlin wasn’t going to press him.

“I’ll be here. And I’ll study up on Austenisms, just in case,” Merlin said.

Out of the blue, film guy said, “Thank you. For understanding and all the rest.”

But before Merlin could reply, could ask him what he meant by that, film guy was gone.

Damn. Merlin hoped that he hadn’t scared him away. But he guessed he’d find out in two weeks. Maybe.


	10. Persuasion 2007

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sometimes being silly is the best part of a relationship or non-relationship or whatever.

Merlin always felt sorry for Anne Elliot. In _Persuasion_ , hounded by her family to let the love of her life go, when Wentworth came back, rich and worthy of her and she realized that she still loved him, she didn’t know how to handle it. Merlin could understand that. After all, much as he didn’t want to admit it, when film guy didn’t show up as the movie started, he felt a little lost. Or a lot lost. Definitely sinking into a kind of sad melancholy or worse.

It was ridiculous, of course. Merlin didn’t even know the guy’s name or what he looked like. But he remembered the tone of his voice and the warmth of his hand on Merlin’s shoulder, how they’d laugh and talk, sometimes with sharp glares from the other movie-goers, but still, Merlin felt almost grief-stricken. In his heart of hearts, damn him, Merlin was falling for this stranger in his life.

In fact, he had it bad.

So when one of those fruity drink parasols dropped into his lap, at first he didn’t recognize it, just stared down at the bright thing. There was a voice in his ear, warm breath against his skin, and film guy said, “Fie, yon miscreant. Parasols at 30 paces it is.”

It was too ridiculous. “What?” Merlin blurted out, his voice a little squeaky from wanting to turn around and snog film guy. “I’ve none of my own, you villainous cur.”

“Think not I would be less than honourable? Yonder is yours and I’ve mine own to thrash you with.” And film guy shook an eye-popping gold one to Merlin’s left. When Merlin let out a snort, film guy said, in a more normal voice, “I stole them from my niece’s dress up party a few weeks back. They reminded me of you… err Jane Austen.”

“And did you like playing dress-up?” Merlin said. It’s the first bit of really personal information he had on film guy, other than a love for movies.

“Morwena is a great kid but no, not really. She insisted I go as a knight. At least, most of that clanging around drowned out the screaming kid chatter.” Merlin could almost feel the roll of film guy’s eyes.

Making it sound like he didn’t care, that it was just casual talk when all he wanted to do was find out more, Merlin said, “Do you think of yourself as a knight? Derring do and all?”

Film guy snorted. “King of the castle? Maybe.” After a moment, he said, “And how about you? Rescuer of fair maidens? Riding in on a white horse to save the day?”

The one and only time Merlin had been on a horse, he’d fallen off. “No, can’t ride to save my life. Although I like to think I’m a bit magic. The name, you see.” He said the last bit, hoping for an opening, a question about why his name meant magic, but film guy didn’t take the bait.

Instead, film guy said, “Let’s have at it.”

With that, film guy took his tiny parasol and knocked it against Merlin’s hand, a bit impatiently.

Merlin let it go. If film guy didn’t want to exchange names, Merlin would just have to shove whatever he was feeling down deep, a lot like Anne in the movie, and instead, just be the sort-of friend film guy obviously wanted him to be. Taking up his red parasol, he clattered it against film guy’s, and before he could say ‘Jane Austen loves sarcasm’, there was jabs and pushing and laughter.

Film guy’s cheek was close to Merlin’s and all he’d have to do was turn his head. Even out of the corner of his eye, he could see the blonde curl of eyelashes and the beginnings of a Roman nose. But he didn’t look, just kept on tangling tiny parasols together, trying to both watch the film and keep film guy from getting the better of him.

Finally, when the others in the theatre were all turning around glaring at them both, Merlin snorted, then whispered, “I think we’ve been spotted.”

With that, film guy nodded, the accidental scrap of skin against Merlin’s ear made his whole face heat. But rather than push it, Merlin held the tiny parasol up, thinking film guy wanted it back. “Thanks for the laugh. I could use a good one.”

“Keep it. Think of it as a souvenir of an epic battle,” film guy said.

His heart thumping at the idea of that film guy was thinking of him outside their theatre bubble, Merlin tucked it away in his shirt pocket.

Watching Anne Elliot look through the crowd for her Wentworth, feeling all the anxiety of what she was going through and remembering his own problems, Merlin said, “Things at work have been in an uproar. The CEO was livid all week. Pendragon Junior cleaned out his stuff while Senior was at a meeting and rumour has it that Ms Pendragon, Junior’s sister, is threatening to quit, too.”

Behind him, film guy let out a long sigh. “I hope she doesn’t. Someone has to keep him in line.”

That was odd of him to say that. It was almost as if he knew her. But he’d think about it later. Instead, he said, “Yeah, I’m beginning to wonder if I shouldn’t be looking for another job. I mean I love what I do but it could get sticky.”

“I’d wait. See what happens. Things should settle down. If worst comes to it, I’ll give you a recommendation.”

Film guy could be ridiculous at times.

Merlin called him out on it. “You don’t even know who I am.”

For a long moment, film guy was quiet as Anne leapt into Wentworth’s arms, then finally he said, “A face or a name isn’t what reflects what’s truly inside.” Pointing to the screen, he said, “Anne there loved Wentworth when he was worth nothing and was a nobody. And yet her family almost destroyed her for it. With their expectations and society’s, and from her own lack of self-worth.”

“But she had a happy ending.” Jane Austen was known for happy endings. It was a given.

“When she told her family to stuff it,” Film guy snapped back. 

Merlin waited for more. On screen, the music was beginning to swell, the lovers at last reunited. But behind him, film guy was breathed hard, almost as if he were trying to keep anger or frustration or even grief in.

Carefully, quietly, Merlin said, “Did that happen to you?”

“Yeah, and I’m paying for it.” Film guy’s voice sounded sharp and furious. But he must have thought better of revealing anything else because he said, “Look, I’ll see you next week. It’s monster week. I’m rooting for Godzilla, if you must know.”

Disappointed, Merlin said, “I’m rooting for the pair of them against the world.”

Film guy gave a little snort. “I like how you think. See you then.” There was a final swell of music and then Merlin was alone.

Again.

But at least he had something to remember film guy with. Taking it out, twirling it between his fingers, he looked at the red and bits of gold peeking through underneath. As he opened it up, the icon of Pendragon, Inc, a golden dragon, was stamped on the inside, in one of the folds.

So how the hell did film guy get it?


	11. Kong vs Godzilla 2020?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Film guy is pretty quiet but Merlin is suspicious.

_Kong vs Godzilla_ couldn’t be any cheesier, not that Merlin had expected anything else, what with monsters kicking over cities and batting planes away. It was stupid and hilarious and just what Merlin needed. Mindless entertainment. 

In the past week, work had indeed settled down a bit, and Merlin was still hiding in the basement. He’d seen Ms Pendragon, Morgana, walking around talking with people and one or two times, she’d actually come downstairs to talk with Merlin about some of the projects he was working on. It didn’t raise alarm bells, but Merlin wondered why she’d done it. It wasn’t as if he knew her or that his work would make or break the company. Maybe she was just feeling out how people thought about all the changes or if they’d follow Junior out the door.

Funny thing was that he’d seen her in the theatre lobby arguing with her brother, wet dream… err Arthur Pendragon. He hadn’t been close enough to hear, but Morgana had nodded to Merlin, then said something to Junior. The arse didn’t look around, just kept turned away, his back all stiff, like a wall of good-looking pratliness. Merlin guessed that Junior must not want to mix with the unwashed peasants. He felt kind of embarrassed that he ever thought the guy handsome.

So when Merlin walked into the theatre, he didn’t even look to see if Pendragon had come in. Merlin just went to his seat and began eating his popcorn.

Film guy arrived just as the movie started. He was quiet, seemingly not in the mood to talk, and only after long minutes of silence, as Godzilla and Kong were fighting, stepping on buildings and people with abandon, he finally said, “Reminds me of me and my sister. Always knocking over things.”

Merlin snickered. “Were you that clumsy?”

“I’ll have you know that I’m very light on my feet.” Film guy gave a little snort, then turned serious. “But no, it’s just that she’s always trying to butt into my business and sometimes she doesn’t know when to stop.”

“I never had any brothers or sisters, but my mum tends to do that, too. Sometimes it’s hell when she keeps pestering me to find someone. After Will the wanker, I’m not sure I want to. Sometimes it’s just easier to talk with someone in the dark and have no expectations for anything more.” It was a total and complete lie, but after all this time, Merlin had to be realistic. It was never going to be anything more with film guy, much as he wanted it to be.

“I’m sure you’ll find someone. Maybe sooner than you think. You’ve a good heart.” Film guy sounded sincere, too.

“Yeah, well, no one is showing up at my door so I’ll take it under advisement.” Merlin chomped on more popcorn, then offered some to film guy. As film guy reached over, taking some, Merlin noticed the glint of silver and gold on his thumb, runes and a little dragon etched into the gold, a unique design. He’d seen the ring before, ages ago, when they were first meeting in the dark, but something tickled at the back of his mind. He’d seen it elsewhere, too. Recently. But he didn’t dare ask about it. It was too personal.

Instead, watching Godzilla stomping after Kong, the planes flying overhead, Merlin said, “I saw Pendragon Junior in the lobby. His sister was there, berating him it looked like. I’d feel bad for the guy after the whole CEO debacle, but when Ms Pendragon nodded to me, he ignored me completely. So I’ve decided he’s a wanker.” Merlin sighed. “Guess I’ve not that good a heart.”

For a long moment filled with bombs bursting and thumping music, film guy finally said, “Maybe he has a lot on his mind.”

Merlin shrugged. “I guess. It’s none of my business. I just felt the sting, you know? Getting ignored is… hard.”

“Yeah, I know. Sometimes being ignored is worse than fighting,” film guy said. “But I doubt him ignoring you was because of you. It’s all on him.”

“Thanks. That’s really… that makes me feel a lot better.” It did make Merlin feel a little better. It could even be true.

It wasn’t until the final epic battle between Godzilla and Kong that film guy finally said, “Too bad they didn’t team up. It would have been epic.”

“The two of them against the world. Or maybe they could have just gone back to the jungle and had a quiet life, living off the land and enjoying each other’s company.” It sounded good to Merlin, just him and film guy. Although they’d need a movie night once in a while, just because.

When the film was over, the music swelling and Godzilla dead, Merlin sighed. He’d really hoped for a better ending.

Film guy said, “Next week is one of my favourite movies, ‘While you were sleeping’. I’ll see you then?”

Merlin said, “Wouldn’t miss it. I’ll bring Maltserers and Kleenex, just in case.”

Reaching over, film guy squeezed Merlin’s shoulder, then let go. “A man after my own heart.”

How true that was. But film guy got up and left, the breeze as he moved past a reminder that Merlin was alone again.

He pulled out the little parasol from last week, the one with Pendragon Inc’s logo on the inside, twirling it in between his fingers, remembering. And he thought about that ring on film guy’s thumb and where he’d seen it before. And Morgana Pendragon, too.

Junior had been arguing with her in the lobby, both their heads together, his hand gripping her arm as he leaned in. There was a glint of gold and silver then, too, a ring on his right thumb, etched with something but it was too far away to see. Blonde hair, a Roman nose with a characteristic curve just like film guy’s, always showing up for movies just before Merlin except when film guy arrived late. A sister, too, and film guy giving away fruity drink parasols with the Pendragon logo on it, one that couldn’t be gotten just anywhere, they had to be ordered specially.

It couldn’t be.

Shit, film guy was Arthur Pendragon.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the movie isn’t out yet and might be pushed to 2021 so I have no idea of how it will go.


	12. While you were sleeping - 1995

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sometimes film imitates life. Merlin hates that.

Merlin was furious or depressed or just numb. All week, he’d been thinking about why a rich, gorgeous man would want to talk to him, never mind talk to him over months. All week, he’d been thinking about whether Pendragon was just playing him, Merlin the poor sod who works in the basement, the idiot with big ears and stupid to boot, the pathetic loser that no one wanted to shag or even be with.

Well, two could play at that game.

When he arrived at the theatre, he hadn’t brought Maltsters or tissues as he’d promised. He wasn’t going to cry this time, no matter how much he loved the movie. Instead, he sat down, scowling at the screen, watching first the adverts and then the beginning scrolls.

Film guy – he refused to call him Arthur just yet, sat down behind him, reaching out and squeezing his shoulder before letting go. Then as they watched Lucy rescue Peter and all the lies that followed, Merlin who used to be so understanding of Lucy’s choices was suddenly furious again.

Film guy leaned forward. “I’ve been to Chicago. It’s that cold in winter.”

Merlin watched as the romantic leads slipped and slid across the ice. Sandra Bullock was great at physical comedy and she made it look so easy to fall into Jack’s arms, her character smiling up into a face that she’d been lying to all along. Merlin used to think it romantic. Now Lucy was just being manipulative, and Merlin hated it and her. “So who are you in this movie? Peter, the rich guy in a coma, Lucy pretending to be his fiancé, or his brother Jack, the one she lied to over and over again?”

For a moment, Merlin thought maybe film guy knew that he knew, but then film guy said, “Well, I do feel sorry for Peter, at least at first. After all, Lucy thought she loved him, but she didn’t know him at all. Just a handsome guy without much going on past the façade. When she rescued him from the subway tracks and he was in a coma, she could pretend that he was her fiancé, even if she wasn’t. But he was a jerk when he woke up.” For a moment, he stopped, watching as Lucy told Jack to follow his heart. “Honestly, I think I’m more like Jack. Just a guy working for his dad and really yearning for something else entirely.”

“Jack, the innocent in all this? You think you’re Jack?” Merlin tried to keep the anger out of his voice. “And that makes me Lucy in your eyes, I guess, the pathetic loser who was so desperate to love someone that she lied over and over again? To anyone and everyone including the man who loved her?”

“What? What’s going on? I never thought you were a loser. Ever.” Film guy was leaning against the chair, his breath hot on Merlin’s neck.

“Or maybe it’s me that’s Jack, the one Lucy lied to from the very moment they met. Pretending to be someone she wasn’t. Digging herself deeper and deeper until it all came out,” Merlin snarled, then turned around. “Right, Arthur? Am I Jack?”

For a moment, Arthur just stared at him, looking shocked, looking as if he’d been stabbed in the chest and didn’t know what to do next. “Merlin, no, that’s not… no.”

And that made it so much worse.

“So you do know my name. And probably everything else about me since I work for your fucking company. Did you have me investigated? Or am I just a fool you played with and then thought to discard when you found someone else to lie to?”

Around them, there were hisses and complaints about noise. Merlin stood up, gathering his coat, then shoving past some of the other patrons, stalked out into the lobby. Behind him, on screen, all hell was breaking out as Lucy finally told everyone the truth.

Arthur wasn’t far behind.

“Merlin, stop, stop!” Arthur yelled, running up to him and pulling at Merlin’s arm.

There weren’t many people in the lobby and most of them were watching from a distance, pretending to ignore them while still listening. But Merlin didn’t care who knew.

“Were you ever going to tell me?” Merlin said, fighting tears of rage or grief or desperation.

“I wanted to, but I didn’t know how.” Merlin jerked away, and started to put his coat on, heading for the door. Arthur followed him. “Please, Merlin, you have to listen to me. It’s not what you think.”

“How would you know? You don’t know me,” Merlin snarled, then his heart broken and shattering into pieces in his chest, he said, “and I certainly don’t know you.”

And with that, ignoring Arthur’s ever-increasing shouts for him to stop, the rain and wind howling around him as he stormed out of the theatre, Merlin rushed away.


	13. Brokeback Mountain 2005

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Merlin is grieving for what he’s lost. Arthur tries to explain.

At least Merlin didn’t get fired.

Morgana Pendragon, bless her, came down the day after he yelled at Arthur for lying to him. She told Merlin straight off that he wasn’t going to be let go, that his personal life was just that, and as long as he did his job well and didn’t violate any of the company rules, he was safe.

Then she told him Arthur was an idiot and that if Merlin ever needed to talk, off the record, she’d be there for him. Needless to say, Merlin wasn’t going to involve himself with Pendragons ever again, but he was polite, and after a while, she left him alone.

But he could feel her watching him, looking at him with pity, and he hated it. He updated his CV and started to think about putting out feelers, just in case.

Surprisingly, considering that he was forsaking everything he’d accomplished for a man who he both loved and loathed, the harder part was deciding whether to go back to the theatre. Most places only showed new films and those were usually gone within a few weeks. But the one he – they – frequented had such a variety of new and old movies that Merlin hated to give it up.

In the middle of the week, he did see the new _West Side Story_ at a theatre further away, sobbing more than he normally would have at the end, wanting so much to be loved like that and knowing it would never happen. But _Brokeback Mountain_ was only being shown for one day at his old theatre and he hated to miss it just because Arthur Pendragon was a wanker.

Still, he brought Maltesers - chocolate for courage, and tissues because he knew how the movie was going to end. It was only with great trepidation that Merlin walked into the theatre and sat down at his usual place. It felt empty somehow, knowing that there’s be no banter, no comments about films and life and well, anything. 

Arthur didn’t come. Merlin wasn’t sure which he hated more, the thought that he’d been abandoned or that Arthur had done what Merlin wanted.

He tried not to think about it. Instead, focusing on the movie, he felt again how intense it was. The sex scene between Ennis and Jack was beautifully played out and the actors were incredible. Merlin wasn’t so much turned on by it as mesmerized by the emotions, knowing that he’d never have something so tender, so passionate, so enduring.

By the end, he’d used up all the tissues and his sleeve was wet with grief.

When the final scenes played out, when Merlin watched Jack’s shirts and Ennis’s hanging together in a lonely closet, and knowing that Ennis would never love again, that the only true love in his life was dead and gone, Merlin’s chest hurt and he felt numb. He wanted so much for his shirts and Arthur’s to be mingled in a closet somewhere, that they’d be as tangled up in passion as Jack and Ennis had been in the wilderness.

Stumbling out, he didn’t even see Arthur waiting for him just outside the theatre door.

Under the umbrella, Arthur was reaching out, trying to stop Merlin from leaving. “Before you run away, just grant me the courtesy of letting me explain. Then I won’t bother you again.”

Merlin jerked back, out of his grasp. Overhead, the rain was pouring down, but Merlin wasn’t about to huddle under Arthur’s umbrella. Instead, he stood beneath the lip of the theatre roof, glaring at Arthur. “Promises are easily broken. I’ve certainly learned that this year.”

Arthur looked like he’d been punched in the gut, and in the dim light, Merlin could see dark circles under his eyes. He wanted to reach out and hug the wanker, but Merlin wasn’t that much of a fool. Instead, Merlin stood there, listening as Arthur said, “I’m not Will, Merlin. I never meant to hurt you. I just… it got away from me, like it did with Lucy in _While You were Sleeping_. I dug myself a deeper and deeper hole for all the wrong reasons and I couldn’t figure a way out.” Arthur reached out again, but when Merlin shook his head, Arthur’s face crumbled. “Please, just… please.”

He should have walked away. He should have put this all behind him and just written off the last few months as a lesson learned. But Merlin wanted to know if Arthur had been playing him all along or if he really felt something for Merlin. Like an idiot, he nodded.

But he didn’t want to go to the pub, not someplace intimate and warm. Lies were always easier to swallow with alcohol and Merlin needed a clear head. Instead, he gestured to have Arthur follow him and they moved back inside.

Merlin sat down on the bench next to the loo, the most non-romantic place he could imagine, and folded his arms across his chest. “So, go ahead. Talk.”

With a long sigh, Arthur sat down next to him. “You weren’t the only one dealing with a wanker. For me, it was a series of them. I know it looks like my life is amazing and some of the time it is but… a lot of people only see the rich boy, the son of Pendragon Inc, and not me, you know?”

Merlin rolled his eyes. Sarcasm hard in his voice, he said, “Yeah, I’m sure it’s soooo hard for you.”

“You know sometimes you’re an arse, too.” Arthur scowled at him a moment, then he must have thought better about it because he said, soft and low as if he didn’t want anyone else to hear, “My last few relationships were… well, I found out they were only in it for the money or trying to get to my father through me to pitch new business. Val just… told me straight out that he wanted money to keep from spilling things to the press. And he had video of us together. It was a mess. So I was more than a little wary of you finding out who I was. Even talking to you was hard.”

For a moment, Merlin just sat there, thinking about how difficult it would be to trust someone when money came into it. He’d heard horror stories, in the paper, online, the royals always getting into trouble, so Arthur’s wasn’t that hard to believe.

Nodding, Merlin said, “Then why did you?”

Arthur seemed to relax at that. Giving Merlin a tentative smile, he said, “At first, it was just a bit of fun exchanging snarky comments. You’re quite funny, you know, and I’d come away feeling so much better. I’d have to go back to work after and sometimes… well you’ve seen my father. Sometimes us watching movies together was the only thing that kept me sane.” Then looked away, down at his hands, he said, “But when I found out that you were working for the company, I was rattled.” 

Thinking back about all the things he’d talked to Arthur about, suddenly, he felt a little unnerved himself. “Shit, I said a lot of… things, about your father and… you. But I didn’t know it was you. I didn’t.”

Arthur looked up then, reaching out to give Merlin’s arm a little squeeze of sympathy maybe, but he must have thought better of it because he let his hand fall. Instead, he just nodded. “I know. In a way, you pushed me to be better than I thought possible. And your faith in me, even though you didn’t know it was me, was… I can’t tell you how much that meant to me.”

When Arthur looked at Merlin, all that hope and worry in his eyes, the knot in Merlin’s chest began to ease. He seemed sincere and Merlin wanted so much to believe him. Still, there was the issue of lying to him. Arthur had had plenty of opportunities to come clean and he hadn’t. 

“But when you left the company, you could have told me then. You weren’t my boss so no problem there and… I would have understood,” Merlin said.

“I panicked.” Arthur did look a bit panicky even as he said it. Either he was the best actor in the world, or he really did care. Running his fingers through his hair, biting at his lip, Arthur said, “By then, we’d been talking so much, and I thought that maybe this time would be different but… I’d been… not lying to you but not telling you the truth, either. And we saw how that went when you did find out.” Arthur looked straight at Merlin then, and lifted his chin, as if bracing himself for whatever would come next. “I wasn’t wrong.”

“No, I guess you weren’t.” Merlin wasn’t going to lie about it, not when they both knew it was true.

Arthur must have taken that as a good sign. Twisting around, taking one of Merlin’s hands in his own, he said, “I’d like another chance. I think we’d be good together. And… I like you, Merlin, quite a bit. Enough that I hope you will forgive me and we can start again?”

When Arthur looked at him like that, when he could feel the warmth of his hand pressing into Merlin’s, he couldn’t say no. “We’ll take it slow.” When Arthur’s face lit up, Merlin said, “But no more lying, even by omission. I don’t want to find out tomorrow that you’re the world’s richest man or really King Arthur in disguise come back from Avalon to take over the world.”

“That latest _King Arthur_ movie was a disaster, but I hear _The Green Knight_ ’s a good one.” Arthur said, “At least I think it will be. If we could see it together?”

When Merlin nodded, Arthur surged up, and pulling Merlin to him, gave him a very messy and decidedly fantastic kiss. Then he backed off, said, “Oh, that’s… probably not taking it slow, is it. Ummm.”

Merlin just smiled. “No, but I’m sure I can forgive you this once.”

“I’m not sure I’ll be able to do it just once,” Arthur said, looking both eager and a little worried.

“I’m counting on it.” Merlin started forward, looking to give Arthur a kiss back, one that Arthur would not soon forget. But there was a giggle off to the side and Merlin turned to find a dozen pairs of eyes watching them. He’d forgotten that they were in the lobby, next to the loo. “How about we go for pizza? I’m famished.”

“I know just the place.” Smiling, Arthur said, “It will be our first official date.”

Merlin just grinned. “And hopefully not our last.”

“No, not our last. Never that,” Arthur said, then bending him backwards, just like in those old romantic movies, he gave Merlin a long, long snog.

The first of many.

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: Merlin characters are the property of Shine and BBC. No profit is being made, and no copyright infringement is intended.


End file.
